Windows of the red old Chevy
Were shut tightly as the grip.
Of the old gentleman who chose
To show how my tiny clean body
Treats the monstrosity
Shrouded in his masculinity.
Windows of the red old Chevy
Were shut tightly
Not so that I don’t catch cold
With breeze in my wet hair
But for not letting the air brush on
The marks that he left to burn my skin.
Instead of sand in my hair
I come home with dread in my head.
On the sticky leather seats
My own mother dared not touch me.
Little did she know I’d wince
At the thought of a hug for my life that rests.
Instead Of sand in my hair
I come home with blood on my legs
But my undefiled heart bled more.
By mere hands, I was held hostage
That separated love from cruelty.
I could not know what went wrong
But something did.
Reasons were to be told.
Why his hands crept in.
Reasons were to be told for
What his hands finally did.
The child I once used to be
Screamed her lungs as she fled.
For objects that fit
Not inside me,
Control was robbed
Of what I thought my body to be,
Madness and pain gushed
With the waves of my near sea.
Pain was the luxury
I felt on the beach
Telling me my sand castles
Did not like these waves
And his hands on my skin.
Telling me the stories
That grandma told were far more kind
Than those which this
Gentleman promised.
Pain was the luxury
I felt on the ride,
Everyone breathed air
And somehow somewhere
I sat and breathed sand.
The breaths created mist
On windows on those I usually draw,
But today I knew what
Suffocation meant.
Mr. Sun was kind to shine
Ms. Sand was kind to sparkle
My naked feet were bait to hunger
For Him who returned my smile.
My beach ball chose to roll over to him
I took it to be the most vile.
To be cold was the one want
That my core had
But my heart kept pounding
And my blood kept boiling
And the skin remained warm.
My outside was draped in clothes
With an angry desolated core.
My feet were naked that day
My feet have been naked
Sometimes after that.
But never have they been alone.
Some hands have been
Tying them to the hot sand.
Ever since.
